Babies Tale

Another of your major responsibilities will be to comfort your baby when she is crying. Crying is especially distressing for new parents, who assume something is dreadfully wrong. However, it is perfectly normal for babies to cry. It gives them a certain amount of exercise, and it is, after all, their only way of letting you know that they need something. The difficulty is to figure out what those needs are. In a newborn, there are only a few things a cry will signify. If the baby is not ill or in pain, hunger, the need for a diaper change [within a few weeks, the baby will become used to the feeling of wetness and a wet diaper will not bother him], and the need to be held and comforted. Infants have a characteristic fussy-sounding cry that often seems to reach a peak when they are about six weeks old and tapers off at about three months.

Babies are individuals. Each will tell you in special ways what he needs from you. Many experienced mothers say they can tell the reasons for their babies crying, saying, for example, that the hunger cry is rhythmic and repetitive, the pain cry is loud and shrill, and the ill cry is continuous, whiny and nasal. As the baby grows, he will have more reasons to complain by means of crying; boredom, frustration, loneliness, fear, over- stimulation, and sometimes the overtiredness that prevents sleep. As you get to know your own child better, you will learn to interpret the reasons for crying.

Occasionally, a baby will cry because he is in pain. One traditional cry of pain is the prick of an open safety pin, largely avoided now by the use of specially designed diaper pins and eliminated completely by the use of disposable diapers that need no pins. Another cause for pain is a raveled thread from the baby’s clothes wrapped tightly enough around a finger or toe to cut off circulation. A baby crying because of sickness will usually have other symptoms of illness, such as a fever, diarrhea, or a runny nose. An earache is indicated by the baby’s pulling on, or attempting to pull on his ear. Generally, a healthy baby will have a strong loud cry. If your baby’s cry becomes abnormally weak, consult your doctor right away.

Sometimes, especially if postpartum depression has you in its grip, you and your baby can get into a joint crying cycle. When the baby cries, you get anxious and nervous. The more the baby cries, the worse you feel, and nothing you do seems to help quiet the baby. The baby senses your feelings; your anxiety in turn, makes the baby anxious and uncomfortable; and the child expresses these feelings by crying even more. You dissolve in tears yourself, and neither of you can seem to stop. One way to help both of you to calm down is to take a warm bath together. The skin contact and the warm liquid environment are soothing and may be all you need. However, if you find yourself getting into these cycles with any regularity, talk with an experienced parent or your doctor.

You’ll find some of the things you do to help your baby stop crying are the same as what you do to help him go to sleep. Most of these are warmth, rhythmic sound, and gentle repetitive motion. These three great comforts can be ideally combined when you cuddle your baby closely as you sing softly to him and you rock together in a cozy, padded rocking chair. This will also soothe and rest you, and you will probably find it a more reasonable solution then letting your baby “cry it out,” as some will likely advise you to do to teach him who is “in charge.” Picking up your infant when he cries does not spoil the baby, whatever you may hear from others. Remember, too, to let your baby know that crying is not the only way to get you to show your concern and love. Pick up and cuddle your baby when he is awake and not crying.

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