Babies Tale

I highly doubt many people follow the suggestions of the experts from this show and that. These experts recommend would-be-parents set aside time before baby’s arrival to discuss how to handle discipline for the child. I think new parents have their hands full trying to make it through the first pregnancy! Despite my sarcasm, I have to agree on one point; discussing how to discipline a child must be done before the child is in need of discipline!

When baby boy is nine months old and repeatedly pulling the dog’s tail, how should you react? Some parents will insist a firm voice repeating “No,” along with physically removing the infant’s hand is enough to deter future tail pulling. Another parent may say this behavior warrants a slap on the hand. Different parents parent in different ways. What to do when the opposing parents reside in the same home? This is where communication is key.

Before baby gets to Fido’s tail, bring up the subject. Try role-playing the scenario. Find our where your partner’s disciplinary measures have their roots. Most likely, you will parent as your own parents did. As partners, you can help each other analyze the success of your parents’ methods. Did you stop hitting your sister when your mom spanked your bottom? If not, why repeat the cycle with your own son? If your wife’s parents used the Time Out method with success, why not try it for a while? No matter the decision, it’s one that needs to be made before the hand hits the tail.

Don’t limit the discussion to one behavior or one age. Consider the possibilities as baby turns one, then two, three and so on. What will you do when she hits or throw tantrums? How will you handle her refusal to eat and her defiant act of holding her breath in protest? What about the six year old who comes home from school using words best left to stand-up comics? Will his mouth be washed out with soap? Will you be truthful and explain the inappropriate meanings of the language?

Sure, it may seem pointless to plan the details of Junior’s revoked privileges when he takes the car out at age 14, but talking out possibilities will kick start an open line of communication between parents that will be easier to continue than start down the line. In addition, partners will be able to identify patterns in their spouse’s disciplinary tactics. If your husband’s reaction to most offenses involves quiet time, hugs and ‘I’m sorry’, and your punishments are more severe, involving loss of playtime or grounding, then you can consider yourself forewarned for the future. In such cases, finding common ground on the discipline field will take more work and compromise and possibly some trial and error with the kids.

So, when baby throws sand in the sandbox, you’ll be happy you and your spouse discussed discipline. Now, when she’s 15 and asks to go on a date? I’m sorry to say there is nothing parents can do to be prepared.

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