Babies Tale

“A woman’s place is in the house… and in the Senate” is a popular saying that has grown out of the woman’s movement in recent years. Besides expressing a woman’s right to work at any job she is qualified for, it connotes the choices women have today. The luckiest of career women who become mothers are those who can ask three questions: “Should I go back to work or be an at home mother for a few months or a few tears?” “If I decide to go back to work, when is the best time-how long should I wait?” “Should I return to my old job or type of work, or should I move on to something different?” Unfortunately, not every woman has these options; economic necessity frequently forces a mother’s return to her old job the day after whatever maternity leave she is entitled to has ended.

If you are one of the lucky ones who can make choices, and you choose to stay home, you may find yourself having second thoughts about your decision after a few weeks of uninterrupted baby care. On the bad days when everything goes wrong, you may feel hemmed in, trapped, and angry. You may be jealous of your spouse who escapes every day to the adult world. And if you go back to work, either because you want to or because you must, you probably will not be entirely satisfied either. First, you will need to come to terms with the daily separation from your baby, then with the fact that you will almost surely miss some “firsts”-the first time she smiles, or turns over, or says “Mama.” In addition, you may be bothered by another problem common to working women. One who does not feel pressure and guilt as she tries to satisfy her responsibilities as a wife, mother, and worker is indeed a rarity, even if she is able to stay home for several months, or even years, after the baby’s birth. As some have put it, she takes on three full time jobs and tries to do all three part time. A fragmented feeling of being too much needed, of being pulled in several directions at once, seems to go with the territory of being a working mother.

Of course, many mothers go back to work very soon after their babies are born and neither they nor their babies suffer. Most are gone from home eight to ten hours a day. A few manage to work at home, to work part time, or to have the advantage of working under the flexible-hours provisions that some forward-looking companies now offer, but every arrangement has its disadvantages.

However, many of those mothers and most medical professionals recommend that you wait, until you can, until your baby is four to six months old before you return to work for several reasons. One, of course, is the matter of your health, both physical and mental. Your recovery will probably be complete by that time and your baby’s sleeping habits are likely to have become fairly well established. Proper rest, nutrition, and exercise remain essential for you, even though time for them becomes more scarce. And along with the roles of worker, spouse, and parent, you should devote at least some time and attention to your own needs.

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